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[22 Nov 2009|10:43am] |
I just read my last post on here and thought it was funny that nothing i posted is true anymore.
My address is different (although slightly)
I don't have a blog anymore (although i have a facebook now)
and I don't have a second job at a video store (that only lasted two days).
Those are my edits as well as my new current updates.
See ya.
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[11 Jun 2009|11:33am] |
oh livejournal.
oh internet.
my throat hurts. life iz crazy stupid sometimes.
i moved from arcata to eureka. so i have a new address now.
1221 J Street. Eureka. CA. 95501.
i am switching gears to blogspot now.
it's classier.
http://jamieforeverandever.blogspot.com/
i got a part time job at the figs in eureka on top of my job at the studio.
i'm not sure how i feel about it yet. i'm not sure how i feel about most things at the moment.
i do find it odd, however, how identical the owner of figs is to the owner at the video store in seattle that i worked at.
both white men in their late 50s.
both owners of local indie video chains.
both really really weird to talk to. very awkward. rambles.
both obsessed with little league baseball.
that will be all for now.
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| up the date |
[02 Nov 2008|02:53pm] |
this weekend has been a good one. friday, for some one you who don't know, was halloween. we had a spooky ooky dance party at my house which consisted of top notch decor, nonstop dance jams, and bobbing for apples. i had been planning on dressing up as a geode but in the end i was very unsatisfied with the outcome and opted to be a bear (thank you sam boyd for that bear hat you made me). saturday morning katie and i went out for our usual saturday morning big blue breakfast served by our beloved evelyn. then at 6 i had to work an hour at arts alive! in the gallery. it was a rocky start with the first five or so people being very sketching drunk street people but by the time i left there were plenty of friendly faces. after that was eddie's birthday party featuring shauna visiting from portland. then this morning katie and i ate bagels and went to big blue (again) with shauna, eddie, kristina, violet, and two of shauna's portland friends. i just cleaned the living room and tonight is a big show at the green house that i am very excited about. the weather has been strangely warm and the rain is on and off. all the cats are doing good. this house is super cozy these days and i really love living with all the people i live with. i'm also really enjoying the newest david sedaris book. i like when he calls a mouse that is on fire and running a "determined little torch". here is a picture of the gallery last night:
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| update |
[21 Jun 2008|08:22pm] |
hey all.
i live back in arcata california now
did you know that?
my address is
85 E 16th street
arcata ca 95521
i live in this house
with katie
and kristina (dog not included)
and this week i started my new big job as art teacher/curator at "the studio"
http://www.thestudioonline.org
yup. yup.
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[02 May 2008|10:29pm] |
R.I.P. Kunks 2005-2008
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| butt soft. |
[20 Apr 2008|12:33am] |
i'm going to try to try and control my brain more
it has just been getting really out of control
i did a test on the way home from work
because i noticed i was doing it again
freaking out nonstop
so as i walked home i said to myself
i says,
"you are neglecting the moment"
and then i says,
"you neglect the moment
you neglect the moment
you neglect the moment"
over and over
and then i decided to notice the things i neglect in the moment
by saying i neglect them
i says,
"i neglect the moon,
i neglect that rock,
i neglect the dirt,
i neglect those peoples colored glass vases in their window,
i neglect that car not hitting me,
i neglect being able to hear the roarin' parties on this saturday night,
i neglect those bricks,
i neglect the person who built with those brinks
i neglect that bush being cut short so i can see the graffiti on the wall"
and so on.
i think it helped.
and yes, i do talk to myself. but softly.
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| bitchfest 2008, live |
[17 Jan 2008|10:38pm] |
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i am way to good at sitting for hours and hours at a time doing absolutly nothing. this is bad because it is not one bit satisfying. i have become a person full of frustration. i feel like i am busy all the time but it is the kind of busy where i still feel alone. i'm around people but i don't really know any of them. it's not like i'm using myself, my personality, to interact. it's more like a pretend me. a customer service me who says "alright, they are due back thursday...and would you like any popcorn?", or a bus-sitting me in a constant state of avoiding eye contact, or a me that i am very unfamiliar with that interacts with sassy middle school boys. i just walk around and take buses all day and look at the grey sky and cigarette butts on the sidewalks. when i am home i'm normally alone because katie works until midnight a lot. i try thinking of things to do and i try to do them but it honestly kinda sucks. tried music stuff....but i can't play anything so that is normally really lame. tried painting with watercolor. got bored. sometimes i take a bath just to do something. i watch too many movies. those are even boring to watch alone. i have always really liked being by myself but i think it is more exciting to choose to be than to have it forced on my everyday. this leads to social anxiety though. getting too used to the alones. then if something comes up i'm like "huh, what? people?...whats that?" ewww i'm grossing myself out. it is so quiet here right now. the music got over. i was listening to rufus. he is coming to seattle in march and i really wanna go. i think katie and i might. i really don't have the money though. this is another HUGE ass issue. fucking money. fuck money. fuck fuck fuck. steve i know i owe you money still. i think about it all the time. you've not yet said anything to me about it which is really nice of you but i know i need to pay you back. see i'm trying to do these new things. volunteering at the gallery and helping out at the art school. i thought it would be a "good move". ya know. get myself involved in the art world. get some experience doing something i may want to do more of. but at the same time...i'm not getting paid for these things. should i just get a full time job somewhere? quit everything i'm doing and just work my ass off? but then i feel like my life would be dedicated to my never ending debts that i feel will be neverending even if i do have a full time job. i have too much debt. i don't even know whats going on. i am not a person who should have this much debt because i really don't understand any of it. i just write tons of bills all the time that i'm pretty sure are just covering the interest on them even though its draining me every month. this doesn't make sense, right? i mean, for a life. for living. this is not the way to be. working hard to stay at the same amount but that amount is nowhere i wanna be. how can i progress? i think moving here has been bad. i wanna stay positive and i try to constantly but its like the whole money thing.....i try and try and try but i end up just staying at that spot....of being unhappy. but i have to try...or i'll just go downhill. to that spot that is really hard to get out of. i feel like i need to keep typing. cause if i stop then i'll not know what to do again. i just yelled at kunks. i yelled "you are so fucking annoying". i feel like a bad parent. he just is so annoying sometimes. but i love him. we have a lot in common. despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage. i wish i was in 8th grade still. wait, no i don't. dammit i just wish i had a shit load of money. i wish i could pay everything off and go on a vacation. go somewhere really magical. travel around. clear my head. find my head. fill my head that i cleared and found with stuff that feels good and is good. and then i can plop myself down somewhere and be ready. see, i just started feeling better and then i realized that that is something that can't happen. i don't mean to sound alarming but i am seriously at near panic attack at all hours. some hours i am at panic attack. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i feel shitty right now. i just feel like i needed to vent. like barfing. bad stuff in me get it out. i don't know why i'd want anyone to look at my barf though. i guess i'm just gross.
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[16 Jan 2008|09:44am] |
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the kids yesterday were super nice to me. there were three of them. today i think there will be six. this means it'll be CRAZY. i'm happy to say that the one "Fuck You!", the throwing of the cups, the "your stupid" 's and the countless threats with fire were all not directed at me. cutie pies. i gotta go!
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[15 Jan 2008|11:19am] |
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i am wearing new shoes and my stomach feels weird. like the first day of school. which is kind of true. only i have to be there for 1.5 hours and i will be making art with 4-6 middle schoolers with "behavior problems". what if they all don't want to make art and they all don't want to do anything and they hate me and make fun of my new shoes. i'll just have to scare them straight with me natrual intimidation. it looks sunny outside today from this window but i bet it is freezing. it snowed a little yesterday. a couple days ago i looked out the window and saw the boy that i can see in the next apartment building having sex on his couch. i know sex is a natural thing but seriously...it is really really shocking to see when you aren't expecting it. i should walk to the bus stop now.
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| dear Leslie and Selina |
[18 Dec 2007|02:15am] |
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yes, you are all correct. it is that guy from the office named dwight. two gold stars for my little guessers.
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[15 Sep 2007|08:38pm] |
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today i undressed under a sheet tent made by a stranger and gave and recieved a back massage, a front leg massage and a back leg massage. apparently this is what i'll be doing for awhile. interesting.
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[05 Aug 2007|09:31pm] |
i live in seattle now.
415 W.Roy Street Apt. 302
Seattle, WA 98119
p.s. hi sam boyd
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[23 Jan 2007|11:44pm] |
some things:
-my leslie and my paul are here now
-the show that nate played on monday was sweet
-there is positive in the air
-tonight we all went to meagan's high school and ate food so she can go ski
-babel is one intense movie
-cookies are really really good with chocolate chips and dried cherries in them
-and i painted this little guy
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| today |
[30 Dec 2006|10:18pm] |
i went with craig to detroit where we met up with will and visited the amazing heidelberg project, ate in greek town, drove around and looked at really old cool houses, and walked around until it was too cold. it was really nice seeing that kid again.
( More pictures of The Heidelberg Project )
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| over it. |
[29 Dec 2006|06:28pm] |
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every time i turn the tv on and flip around for awhile i get an overwhelming feeling of depression. so i think i'll try and stay away from that. my mom just came in here holding a plastic bag and just stood there looking at me, i just looked back at her making a face like "yes women, say something" and she said "kiiiiwiiiii". why did she have to show me there was kiwi in the kitchen at that moment? this is something i will never know. she is hyper all the time. today it happened. the two topics were brought up in rapid sucession. first, "do you have a boyfriend?". "no mom, i don't". second, "what are you going to do? when will you get a job with insurence?". "honestly, i don't know". it ended fast but was pretty painful. this land is too flat and there are too many american flags. none of them have any idea what i'm even like when i'm not really uncomfortable. i have to hold me tounge constantly and tell myself that certain things aren't worth it or maybe i just don't have the energy. i feel so lucky though for all the friends i know and have. seriously. i miss people a lot and i'm so happy and thankful that i do have people i can talk to and be around comfortably. i mean, maybe i'm not comfortable around tons of people but i'd much rather be uncomfortable because i'm shy then because i'm scared to see their reaction to me when i am comfortable. i really don't like all of this but my mom did just spend hundreds of dollars on me so i can wear contacts for another six months. i don't know how it feels. i miss knuks.
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